quarterly goals | episode ii

quarterly goals | episode ii

Sunday, April 12, 2020

Well, my anxiety around long-term goals and general distrust for life aged well, didn't it?! But the heart-breaking, uncertain reality of the Covid-19 epidemic is one I'm not bearing alone. I've had many conversations over the past few weeks over this 'lost' time, how I feel I'm missing out on life again. And although we all are, to an extent, I've also worked hard to reconfigure my mind so that isn't my reality or opinion. This time isn't lost, it still belongs to me, and I can do what I want with it (within the boundaries set by the government and my own morality, of course). Naturally this set of goals will reflect that, and I'm not setting my sights on anything that isn't within my reach already.

I'm also finding my mental health is improving in many ways, despite the unshakeable anxiety the Corona virus is extracting in most of us. Being home more, taking long walks in the sunshine, slowing my schedule waaaay down... these things have brought me a much broader sense of peace than I expected to feel 3 weeks into our nationwide lockdown. 

Before we get stuck into our second set of goals for 2020, let's check in at what I hoped to achieve January - March. 

city guide: edinburgh

city guide: edinburgh

Monday, March 9, 2020

Through some unforeseen circumstances colliding with a touch of luck and blessings from the universe, I spent my 25th birthday in Edinburgh with the most special person in existence. And despite the emotional turmoil I felt pretty much every day up until the morning of January 30th, I had the best birthday of my life. It was chilled and low-fuss and my first away from home which was odd but exciting. I'm intending on being out of the country - or at least city - every birthday from here til my deathbed, thank u x

predatory

predatory

Sunday, March 8, 2020

Shark senses

He smells blood and moves in

That silver tongue works wonders

Both in and out of the bedroom

We question his favour

As we question everything

But we must be someone special

For who else is sharing his bed?

Just the handful of other girls

We don't know about

He picks at the bones of us

Until he's fed

Until the blood flowing

Is of his own making

Then he picks up another scent

And leaves us to bleed.

the world was disintergrating : cut out poetry

the world was disintergrating : cut out poetry

Sunday, October 6, 2019

the world was disintergrating
    anxious,     shaking
self-mutilation
   sighing open and surrendering
but there
   in the darkness
the man wiping my cheeks dry
   he said
"look at me, lovely creature
everything was going to be all right."


I first discovered cut out poetry through Bee, many years ago on her beautiful blog Vivatramp, and it was through Bee that I was introduced to it again, this time via her Patreon. I've been a Patron of Bee for well over a year now and I always look forward to the latest creative post hitting my email inbox.

notes from cambridge ii

notes from cambridge ii

Friday, January 11, 2019

In my notes from cambridge part I I told you I was heading out to explore alone with just my headphones and Google Maps and I followed through on my intention. Google Maps is an absolute bastard for me to understand though, so I just went wandering. It was quite liberating in a way - it gave me the freedom to keep my eyes on my surroundings and not fixed on my phone.

notes from cambridge part i

notes from cambridge part i

Sunday, January 6, 2019

Already this year I have done some unlikely things. On New Years Day I took the train to visit my best friend in hospital. I'd never taken the train alone before. I'd never been to Cheltenham. I'd never walked up to a cab and asked for a ride. I'd never walked 35 minutes alone through an unknown city. And just the day before I'd been on my first date with a woman.