july

I've been hestitant to write this post for a lil while now - I didn't want to look at the feelings and discomfort and frustration I felt during July (hello avoidant nature). I didn't feel like I did much, achieved much. I spent a lot of time feeling depleted and worried. I spent a LOT of time working on myself. I spent a lot of time helping someone close to me who wasn't feeling their best. But now that I'm reflecting, now I've scrolled through my camera roll and my @soyisland feed, I see that July wasn't so bad after all.

The month started off with a long overdue reunion. My oldest, dearest friend and I met up for lunch and a wander around Clifton one afternoon and it was lovely. We laughed, we walked a LOT, we tried our best to find somewhere cute and indie to eat but ended up in Spoons for chips and a burger. I also marvelled at the utter radiance of her, with her five-month-old bump! I have never seen a more goddess-like soon-to-be mama in my life. (I know she's reading this - love you T!)

We also saw new features drop in Animal Crossing: New Horizons on July 3rd! Luna invited Samwise over for a swimming date and subsequently spent most of her month diving for sea creatures and scallops.

I got some new lingerie! Monki's basics cotton bra is my holy grail. After spending months wearing uncomfortable and painful bras that didn't fit me, I finally gave in, took some money out of my savings, and refreshed my lingerie drawer. Going up a size is always a difficult thing for me, but I know that that's just the ED talking and we're bored of her and in love with new bras and that's that. This set is the Organic Cotton Bra & High-Waist Undies in 'blue skies' and I wear a size S in both. They're out of stock in that colour, but there are several variants! I also have the white and black and they're both divine.

Brighton Brighton Brighton. Quirky aesthetics galore. Beachy wanderings by day and RuPaul's Drag Race + New Horizons all night. The house was beautiful, the company more so and the whole vegan and indie scene of the place made my heart full. I wrote a city guide for the trip which you can check out here.

S and I both found the Brighton trip a little difficult mentally - we were both on the verge of burn out tbh - and we experienced what I call a 'mental health hangover' (ie the exhaustion and depletion that comes from feeling anxious for a prolonged period of time) that lasted a couple of weeks mid-end July. We battled through it as best we could but it took a while for us to feel back to normal. I started going for walks, we worked hard to balance our time better, we ate better and spent more time resting. We slowly but surely returned to ourselves.

We also spent a lot of time playing Last of Us II. I'm so invested but Christ Ellie makes some questionable decisions.

One of my non-Dreamie villagers told me she was leaving Soy midway through the month so I spent a couple of hours one morning scouting for a newbie. I ended up settling on Lolly who 1) is a cat and 2) shares my childhood nickname. In essence - she's perfect.

I forced myself to paint more this month - tying in with S and I's pact to make better use of our free time - and I'm quite content with the outcome of some of the pieces. I never really aim to finish anything, I just free paint and doodle and play around. I love mindlessly painting moons and flowers and leaves. It's so meditative. Once I work up my concentration levels I want to start painting Pokemon and Animal Crossing characters again! Who knows - maybe I'll even bring back my painterly monthly favourites!

S and I took a trip to Bath one morning before I started my evening shift. It was lovely. You can check out some more photos and ramblings here if these have whet your appetite for pretty architecture.

Soy underwent some serious reconstruction last month! I've been trying to style up specific 'zones' one at a time but my chaotic-good energy can't commit to that so everywhere is kinda half-finished. Lots of 'still in progress' Instagram captions were written for @soyisland let's put it that way. One of my new favourite little areas is this floral-pond-waterfall situation right below Nook's Cranny. Freckles loves it. Almost as much as I love her.

What else happened in July... ah! I spent a solid couple of hours with my best gals J, M and E one incredibly warm afternoon and we have the cutest pics to show for it. I bought Ring Fit and am committed to making it a regular habit. I need work outs that are fun and distracting enough that I don't realise I'm exercising... so far, Ring Fit is doing the trick. (I say this. I've played it once.) I've also been learning the chorus choreography to Kill This Love by Black Pink which is exhausting and fast and so fun.

As for my hopes for August... Well, a little R&R never hurt nobody! I want to keep resting, keep balancing, keep working on myself. I want to build better routine and schedule in my hobbies. I want to practice discipline each time I start to doubt myself and retract. I want to create the things my soul is begging me to. I'm going to work through the resistance until it feels effortless to let the paint and ink and words to flow out of me.

My word for August is discipline. What's yours?